Admit it. When you read “Queen of Clutter Mends Her Ways,” you were skeptical. And I don’t blame you. I was skeptical, too. 

Here’s the good news: Queen’s bookshelf (that would be my bookshelf) is in perfect shape after two weeks in the house of clutter. That’s because there is almost nothing like organization and cleanliness to motivate one to maintain such. Well, there’s always a good party or a family visit, but even then, things can be shoved into a box or hauled to the basement. Believe me, I know.

So, have you been wondering if I made good on my promise to work at Terri’s? That was Part B of the de-cluttering plan—to repay my friend and co-cleaner, Terri, by working at her house. When I brought up the subject, she objected, “But I can’t give you a nice job like you gave me; I really want to tackle my garage.” Terri felt bad that I had given her such a pleasant chore (beautifying a bookshelf), whereas the work she wanted done wouldn’t be as easy or nearly as much fun. I assured her that when I’d moved, several of my good friends had dared to venture into my huge unfinished garage that extended the entire length and most of the width of my house; they’d helped me throw out or recycle most of what I found. If Terri had protested more, I might have mentioned the desiccated mouse we’d found. Fortunately, she accepted my assurance that I would be glad to work in her garage. The only problem we’d had was scheduling.

So, as we took our daily walk, I mentioned that my meeting had been canceled, and I’d have time to help in her garage if she was free. “But it’s not ready for you,” Terri protested. This seems to be a big issue—wanting our homes to be in some kind of shape before they are cleaned by our friends. I suggest you (and Terri) just get over that one, fast!

Instead of walking me home, we went to Terri’s and decided to take just an hour in her garage. Her biggest motivation was that there were old textbooks that she wanted to donate during the book buy-back at our local university, and any book they didn’t buy, they would send to Africa.

Once again, we started with food. Since this was an unscheduled work day, we ate grapefruit and considered getting smoothies when we were done. We found that our needs had changed slightly from those of the previous work day. We required a thick-tipped permanent marker, packaging tape, and a pair of scissors. 

We somewhat warily opened each sealed box, wondering what it held. The homeschooling books were put into two boxes for a friend who also homeschools her children. The books we planned to donate were put directly into the car once each box was full. We only saved useful items (file folders and some unused paper). Terri had the willpower to keep only one memento of her son’s schoolwork.  We found some family heirlooms, law school textbooks (and I learned that Terri had attended one year of law school), and some things that were easy to throw away, such as a doll made from a 5-lb. sack of flour that had been used to teach high school students about taking care of a baby. Terri was glad to be reunited with her icicle Christmas lights (we labeled the box in huge letters) and the child’s tea set she had been looking for to have tea time with her granddaughter.

We created more recycling than fit in her bin, as well as some trash. For example, when she asked me if she should keep the Styrofoam™ packaging and the box from her Vitamix®, I quickly replied, “NO!” Then I explained that we would have kept those in the past, but now we knew that wasn’t necessary. Terri agreed that if she ever needed to pack her Vitamix®, she would find another box with different packaging.

While finding the expandable rolling cart to transport the books to campus, a Pakistani rug fell from its place above the cart. Terri said she’d had it for over 30 years, but that there was nowhere to put it. We tried a few places, and now it is ornamenting the beige wall-to-wall carpet at the foot of her bed. We both agreed that having things and not using them was such a   waste.

As we headed out the door to the university, we noticed that we had spent exactly one hour, to the minute. Terri told me, “If you hadn’t been here, it would have taken me three days.” That’s because she would have looked through every piece of paper, reminiscing and wondering what to do with each item. 

We donated her books, then went downtown for lunch. Our day ended with refreshing blueberry lime sorbet, as we sat outside on this warm afternoon, talking. We had both enjoyed our day, and we had gotten one step closer to having houses with no clutter.

Ten Tips for De-cluttering for a Friend
1. You can schedule a date or be spontaneous about the time to clean.
2. Don't worry about cleaning before you clean.
3. Don't protect your friend from cleaning that isn't "fun."
4. Put things in their place right away (like books in the car, rug in the house).
5. Don't slide into your old habits (like keeping Styrofoam™ when you won't need it).
6. Look at cleaning like a voyage of discovery (finding the tea set, rug, and Christmas decorations).
7. Celebrate afterward with food and relaxation.
8. Set a time limit, even if you are fine spending more time. It helps you to focus.
9. Collaborate with your friend, and give her advice if she asks for it, but don’t be offended if she doesn’t take it.
10. Be motivated by donation deadlines, such as for charity garage sales, etc.

Okay, I’ll admit that before my friend Terri came to help me de-clutter my house, I wanted to pre-clean it so that she wouldn’t think I was a slob. Not that she hadn’t been in my house before, but it was looking as if I’d just moved in, when I’ve actually lived in my home for over a year. Its particularly poor state was a result of cleaning my garage and finally bringing in a number of boxes from my previous home, being busy with a number of editing projects, and the fact that cats and piles of papers always add up to a landslide at some point.

In yoga class, our teacher had been reading a passage about releasing, and one thing it mentioned was “I release all clutter.” That thought brought me feelings of deep peace, along with a sense of panic. I was sure that if I released all clutter, it would create a string of garbage extending into outer space. I also knew that I’d been giving away furniture and knick knacks for the past few years. While in theory this should have made my house as light and airy as a Pottery Barn catalog, instead it seemed cramped and overflowing with collectibles.

My solution was to trade time with a friend, where we would work together, be cheerleaders for de-cluttering, and have some fun at the same time. So Terri and I decided that if we spent just a few hours each week at each other’s homes, we could finally deal with our clutter.

Our first session was yesterday. I’ll start at the end and say that Terri left telling me how much fun she’d had. We started at 12:30 and ended at 3:45, and it went very fast. And I am looking at the very organized bookshelf she created yesterday. When I look at it, I can feel myself relax. 

We started with a pleasant salad lunch of greens, nuts, dried cherries and blueberries, feta cheese, and a diced apple, topped by a tangy balsamic dressing. We were going to work for an hour and then break for the fruit Terri had brought—fresh pineapple, grapes, and a banana. While eating lunch, we made a plan. We’d go to the basement for empty boxes and to retrieve the items I’d saved to donate to a charity garage sale. Then we’d concentrate on the room I live in most, one of the messiest—my office, which can be seen from the kitchen.

Terri took on the bookcase, putting papers she couldn’t deal with in a box, while I hung pictures that had come in from the garage. Then we took everything off some high shelves, where items had been shoved without any organization. We dusted and only returned the knick-knacks that truly belonged. During this time, I was getting reacquainted with some objects I’d forgotten I owned, and Terri was commenting about my wonderful artsy collectibles.

Even though the plumber called and truncated the last of our visit, where we were to celebrate with homemade lemon bars, I was happy with the results. Terri took her lemon bar home, and she enjoyed it enough to call me later, with thanks. Actually, it was I who should have been thanking her. Ideally, we will continue with one week at my house and the next at hers. Now I have hope that some time, maybe within the year, my house will be de-cluttered, and so will Terri’s. It was much easier to decide to give away things with Terri's encouragement.

Twelve Tips for De-cluttering with a Friend

1. Have a plan and discuss it beforehand
2. Include food and breaks
3. Limit your time to 2 hours plus eating
4. Focus on one area
5. Work together 
6. Confer while working, so that something you really need doesn't get lost in the process
7. Have a place for things your friend can't be asked to deal with, such as your important papers
8. Make decisions together about what to: a) keep b) throw away c) give away d) sell
9. Dedicate areas for things to: a) keep b) throw away c) give away d) sell
10. Plan where you will store the things you keep, to what charity you will donate your stuff, on what website you’ll sell your stuff.
11. Give your friend some discretion, such as letting her arrange your bookshelf
12. Allow yourself to be pleasantly surprised by her arrangement/decisions

About Nancy Browning: Professor emeritus of cultural diversity, Nancy divides her time among many pursuits: writing that ranges from picture books to young adult and middle grade fiction to adult short stories, cooking gluten-free and creating a gluten-free cookbook, editing scientific grants and papers, doing yoga, walking, working on every kind of needlework imaginable, singing, antiquing, and spending time with her friends, family, and three cats. It’s no wonder that housekeeping is not at the top of her list. Contact her at nancybrowning@yahoo.com.